I read yesterday, "the Institute" Żulczyka that was so frightening that I could not sleep, confident that tomorrow will wake up trapped in his own room, and a few days someone brutally murders me, Dismantle my body and stuff other stories. In order not to go crazy from tipping from side to side, and thinking how much finesse is a murderer, which is probably just me close and spins a sinister plan to my doom, I decided to contemplate something others. And, horror of horrors, I realized what scared me more than tabun killers with sharp tasakami in my hands!
I realized because, dear reader, that has just passed half of my pregnancy, and that in fact it is getting closer to me than the next until I will put my newborn on the breast, smeared with the abominations of the child inside me. And it's not about that, I am afraid of childbirth, that is afraid of weight gain, edema of the feet, because it is really Pikus. But I am a man created in order to again and again to suffer the ambivalent attitude the world and people oscillate forever between the absolute and total despair, happiness and at that moment than I can not fucking imagine how I am to my brain, and my life of not being in the world and society, I have to take the introduction of another substance of this world, only convicted for me, trusting me implicitly. In the case of a figure like me, pregnancy should last as many as in the elephant, or even be prohibited. And now I sit and worry, because I'm sick again, but I hope that it will be good for a child that is born a little Spartan, after going through so many infections in fetal life, and I worry how I will shape a child, how I'm going to manage the chronic lack of sleep, a necessity of daily laundry, cleaning, cooking and more studies to do so. This time zapierdala like crazy, and I can not think of anything clever. And I can not determine whether the baby's movements feel that rumbling in my stomach, and it seems to me that I have a little belly is, and why do I have no complaints upierdliwych! Seriously, I have depression.
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